I have started this blog post no less than 5 times...and each of those times I have found myself getting part way through and then deleting it. I just haven't been able to put into words everything that has been happening in my life over the last 6 months. Even typing that out, 6 m-o-n-t-h-s ....makes it set a little heavier in my heart. 6 months is half of a year.
I guess I need to start at the beginning. It started back in July with me just not feeling 'quite right' and by the end of August I was pretty sick which really isn't that uncommon with my having allergies and asthma. The only thing is that this time, even with doctor supervision and mediations I was not getting better. In fact, I got significantly worse...and quickly. Every time my heart rate would increase, I couldn't breathe. I was set up to see specialists, and to have several tests run. I had to significantly reduce and modify my exercising and all of the medications I was being put on were beginning to have many unwanted side effects. After close to a month, it was discovered that I was having a severe allergic reaction to a medication and my doctors were able to make the needed adjustments.
This is when I really started to struggle...which surprised me. All along I had been so laser focused on just trying to discover what was making me sick, that I had convinced myself that as soon as we were able to figure it out, that I would be better, and things would go back to 'normal'. But that is NOT what happened. My body was tired. It had been working so hard to fight for so long that it didn't have the energy to just 'bounce back' like I had hoped to. Even though I stopped taking the medication I was allergic to, it still took a couple of weeks for it to completely clear out of my system and for the side effects to begin to go away.
This left me frustrated on so many occasions. In May I had been in the best shape of my life. I was able to run a 1/2 Marathon and it was such an empowering feeling....and now, I could hardly walk around my subvision without getting winded. I had lost most of my strength and endurance and a combination of medication, lack of ability to exercise and some minor depression I had gained back some weight that I thought I would never see again.
Talk about feeling deflated...defeated...BUT...I am NOT one to stay that way!!!!
So, over Christmas I went down to Florida like I do every year, and did some serious soul searching, and getting my head back in the right place, and I was able to come home with a whole new sense of purpose.
Why do we tend to feel that we need perfection at the things that we do? My goal for this week (and I challenge you to join me) is to find 1 or 2 things to make progress with in your life!!! Drinking more water, making healthier choices with your food, Pushing myself a little harder in my workouts, keeping up with my dishes/laundry....not perfection, just progress. If you join me, let me know how it goes for you.
